This week's politics will focus on the top Republican candidates. Who are they, and what exactly do they stand for?
It's a sad fact of politics that most voters go on "feel." They don't know what the issues are, or what their candidates stand for. On feel alone, McCain seems grandfatherly and concerned about darned near everything. Romney seems cold and just a tad untouchable. Huckabee seems like the guy you'd want to have a party with. Giuliani is the kind of politician that usually wins these elections: a take charge type of guy; however, his take charge attitude when he moved his mistress into the governor's mansion with the wife and kids still living there seems kind of cruel. And nobody seems to be able to get a real handle on Ron Paul, which is why he is somewhere at the bottom of the polls.
Nonetheless, this is what these guys actually stand for on the major voting issues:
ABORTION: For: Giuliani; Against: Huckabee, McCain and Romney (both support in cases of rape/incest), Paul opposes personally, but thinks states should decide unequivocally for themselves.
IRAQ (Timetable for pulling troops out): For: McCain, Paul; Against: Giuliani, Huckabee, Romney.
GUN CONTROL: Supports limits on types of guns and ownership: Giulani; Against most types of limits: McCain, Paul, Huckabee, Romney.
SAME-SEX MARRIAGE: All oppose. However, Giuliani supports legal domestic partnerships, and McCain and Paul believe that it should be a state issue, not federal. Romney has supported same-sex partnerships in the past.
HEALTH CARE: Romney is the only one who supports a federal system of universal health care. All others support state-run or market-based reforms for health care, except for Huckabee. Huckabee thinks the current system is irrevocably broken, but does not have any set opinions on either fixing it or offering new solutions.
SOCIAL SECURITY: All except Paul support voluntary diversion of funds into private accounts; Giuliani also thinks that a baseline distribution of funds should exist nationwide.
ILLEGAL IMMIGRATION: Huckabee, McCain, and Giuliani support path to legalization of some illegal immigrants with greater enforcement of existing laws (McCain also supports the building of a fence). Paul and Romney do not.
TAXES: Paul and Huckabee support the Fair Tax; Romney and Giuliani do not, for the most part. McCain says he opposes, but has expressed support for it in the past.
STEM CELL RESEARCH: Huckabee and Paul oppose unequivocally. Giuliani, Romney, and McCain support, but with some stipulations.
That's about a fast recap of the major issues. For more information on your candidates and what they really stand for, do the research. Find out exactly who it is you're voting for.
Don't get hooked on a feeling.
Wednesday, January 30, 2008
Tuesday, January 29, 2008
Ask Me Instead: Old Lovers and Old Habits
Dear Dr. Tracy,
What is your opinion on maintaining contact with former lovers after marriage? I've never doubted my husband's devotion, yet it still bothers me when he sends birthday cards, "keep in touch" letters & occasionally telephones several women that he's at one time been sexually intimate with. He says he understands my feelings, but then says he doesn't like to feel restricted in his actions. This makes me feel resentment & I wonder if my feelings of jealousy stem from my own insecurities or if his actions are inappropriate for a married man. I should say that I have no such feelings re his platonic women friendships and that my husband (of 3 years) is truely a caring person & not on the prowl. Thanks very much.
Dear Bothered,
Since you've never doubted your husband's devotion, I don't understand why you are so bothered by an occasional contact he has with his ex-lovers. After all, they are ex, not current. You have him and those other women don't.The fact that he has maintained friendly relationships with his ex's shows his good character and his ability to be a nice guy even when the relationship didn't work out. It also shows that he didn't do anything so terrible to them that they never want to talk to him again. The women he loved before helped make him into the man you love today. So instead of being jealous and uncomfortable, be happy he's who is is. Instead of criticising him for his contacts, make friends with his ex's yourself.
I received a call recently from a lover I was involved with in the 60's, and my husband greeted him like an old friend on the phone. He has visited us and stayed in our home and my husband appreciates the warm relationship I have with him. My old lover represents a part of my past, my misspent youth, and many memories that are important to me. Since my husband knows that, there's no jealousy involved.
I am also friends with my husband's ex-wife. In addition, my husband, like yours, keeps in touch with some of his old lovers and female friends. All that's just fine with me. Like your husband, mine is a truly caring person and not on the prowl. So I don't worry about his contacts at all.
You've only been married three years compared to my 24 years. So think about it: my husband and I have kept our friendships with old lovers for all those years. Maintaining those friendships is actually something to be proud of, and as the years go by, I'm sure you'll begin to feel that way too.
Stop trying to control your husband's contacts with his old lovers. You're his wife. You have status they never achieved. So be gracious and generous. You'll get a lot further that way than by being small and jealous.
Good luck,
Dr. Tracy
Dear Dr. Tracy:
Perhaps you just aren't aware of the statistics, but many affairs after marriage are with people who knew each other before marriage. Many an affair has begun with nostalgic trips down Memory Lane. And if you need any further evidence, I can introduce you to at least a couple of people whose 30-year marriages were broken up by the re-introduction of the high school sweetheart. This young woman doesn't even have the passage of time -- she's only been married for 3 years, which means that she and her husband are probably young -- and he is still keeping contact with women that he had sex with as recently as 3-4 years ago. That inability to let go of past relationships would make me question his ability to commit to anything deeply at all, much less just how enmeshed he was in these women's lives.
But let's suppose for a minute that this is the case. He is with a woman who has supposedly "won." If she has won, why doesn't she feel like a winner? Because his actions diminish and demean her. If he really cared about her feelings, he would not do such things. His focus would be on restructuring his relationships in such a way that the woman he "picked" would feel honored and treasured, like she has won a prize rather than has been put on the shelf like an honorable mention.
Sunday, January 27, 2008
Go For What You Know
In today's gospel, John has already been arrested. It is now time for Jesus to make his move and pick up public ministry where John left off.
So where does he go? What does he do? Go to the flashiest place and take out a billboard? Surround himself with the beautiful people? He is, after all, God. He should be hanging out in the best places with the best people. He needs to come out in a big way... right?
But true to form, Jesus doesn't do what's expected. In the time when he should be putting himself out there in the loudest way possible... he goes back home.
Yep, he goes back to where he came from, Galilee.
And whom does he pick to take with him on his epic journey? Some of his homeboys, fishermen. Because when he says, "Follow me," they do.
Many of us go outside of ourselves looking for things to fulfill us. We try to surround ourselves with exotic things and beautiful people.
But the reality is that no one can give you what is already yours. All the bling in the world won't make you shine any brighter.
In the end, all the gold and glitter is no better than anything that you can find in your own backyard.
So where does he go? What does he do? Go to the flashiest place and take out a billboard? Surround himself with the beautiful people? He is, after all, God. He should be hanging out in the best places with the best people. He needs to come out in a big way... right?
But true to form, Jesus doesn't do what's expected. In the time when he should be putting himself out there in the loudest way possible... he goes back home.
Yep, he goes back to where he came from, Galilee.
And whom does he pick to take with him on his epic journey? Some of his homeboys, fishermen. Because when he says, "Follow me," they do.
Many of us go outside of ourselves looking for things to fulfill us. We try to surround ourselves with exotic things and beautiful people.
But the reality is that no one can give you what is already yours. All the bling in the world won't make you shine any brighter.
In the end, all the gold and glitter is no better than anything that you can find in your own backyard.
Friday, January 25, 2008
Mais Cher, What is a King Cake, huh?
Here I am, I have been raving about king cakes, pointing my little scepter and saying, "Good, bad, not so good, not so bad" when it occurred to me that some of you are not really clear as to what a king cake is.
Like many Christian traditions, it is one that has roots in pagan tradition but has been changed over time.
Of course, that could lead me down another road entirely. I find it irritating when people say that other people stole someone else's tradition. I mean, pretty much the Romans stole their mythology from the Greeks, but no one ever says that. They just accept that there's a Greek name and a Roman name. And of course, there's always the emperor Constantine, who became a Christian, but who had been a pagan for most of his life. And they expected him to just throw out a lifetime of traditions in two seconds? Yeah, YOU try doing that. But anyhow...
The pagan ritual that this is very loosely based on has to do with ancient traditions. A young man was selected to be a king for the day. They would bake a cake and put either a bean or a coin in it. The lucky fellow who happened on it was feted and honored for exactly one day, then he was sacrificed. Of course, it goes without saying that this fellow was more than likely not of a royal class, and more than likely a slave. Sacrifice for the good of the harvest may have been preferable to the life he currently lived. Maybe his family even got a little bonus -- who knows?
However, human sacrifice was frowned upon in the Christian church. So their king for the day became a spiritual king. Not Jesus, one of the Magi, the three Kings who visited Jesus. Since Jesus' birthday was Christmas, they estimated that the kings came to visit 12 days after his birth, on or around January 6, or Twelfth Night. They re-created the king cake scenario, except that this time the king got to live, and they celebrated a new king and his court every week until Ash Wednesday. The Twelfth Night Revelers in 1870 were the first to also choose a queen. It would be 80 years before the first krewe was actually formed, but this was the definite beginning of a new era in the celebration of Mardi Gras.
Like many Christian traditions, it is one that has roots in pagan tradition but has been changed over time.
Of course, that could lead me down another road entirely. I find it irritating when people say that other people stole someone else's tradition. I mean, pretty much the Romans stole their mythology from the Greeks, but no one ever says that. They just accept that there's a Greek name and a Roman name. And of course, there's always the emperor Constantine, who became a Christian, but who had been a pagan for most of his life. And they expected him to just throw out a lifetime of traditions in two seconds? Yeah, YOU try doing that. But anyhow...
The pagan ritual that this is very loosely based on has to do with ancient traditions. A young man was selected to be a king for the day. They would bake a cake and put either a bean or a coin in it. The lucky fellow who happened on it was feted and honored for exactly one day, then he was sacrificed. Of course, it goes without saying that this fellow was more than likely not of a royal class, and more than likely a slave. Sacrifice for the good of the harvest may have been preferable to the life he currently lived. Maybe his family even got a little bonus -- who knows?
However, human sacrifice was frowned upon in the Christian church. So their king for the day became a spiritual king. Not Jesus, one of the Magi, the three Kings who visited Jesus. Since Jesus' birthday was Christmas, they estimated that the kings came to visit 12 days after his birth, on or around January 6, or Twelfth Night. They re-created the king cake scenario, except that this time the king got to live, and they celebrated a new king and his court every week until Ash Wednesday. The Twelfth Night Revelers in 1870 were the first to also choose a queen. It would be 80 years before the first krewe was actually formed, but this was the definite beginning of a new era in the celebration of Mardi Gras.
Thursday, January 24, 2008
Adventures in King Cake: Keller's
Today's king cake was another familiar favorite: Keller's. I have heard some people criticize its lack of authenticity, but I think they are applying their standards incorrectly.
Keller's is a family-owned bakery that has been open in the Lafayette area since the 1890's. This is a long tradition of providing delicious pastries. My personal opinion is that people who do not like Keller's king cake are merely used to a different kind of king cake. Its authenticity is indisputable: the recipe is most definitely a brioche, not a cinnamon roll, bread, or doughnut. Everything on it is delicately applied: a creamy, but not overly sweet filling, a thin glaze that pours on just right, and some festively colored candy sprinkles.
Every cake comes with a paper outlining the history of the king cake, a few Mardi Gras beads to start off your season, and of course, the traditional baby.
So if it is an authentic king cake you want, you will find a very tasty one here, at a pretty good price (unless you want it shipped -- then oy vey!).
Keller's is a family-owned bakery that has been open in the Lafayette area since the 1890's. This is a long tradition of providing delicious pastries. My personal opinion is that people who do not like Keller's king cake are merely used to a different kind of king cake. Its authenticity is indisputable: the recipe is most definitely a brioche, not a cinnamon roll, bread, or doughnut. Everything on it is delicately applied: a creamy, but not overly sweet filling, a thin glaze that pours on just right, and some festively colored candy sprinkles.
Every cake comes with a paper outlining the history of the king cake, a few Mardi Gras beads to start off your season, and of course, the traditional baby.
So if it is an authentic king cake you want, you will find a very tasty one here, at a pretty good price (unless you want it shipped -- then oy vey!).
Reality TV: The More Thing Change
What valuable lessons did I learn from reality TV? I learned that the more things changed, the more they remain the same.
Ricky on Project Runway finally hit his stride and created a fabulous, tailored dress that actually looked well made and well put together, like the lingerie designer he is supposed to be. Christian put together another tailored, goofy ensemble that the judges raved over, but he did not win. Can you tell I was heartbroken (NOT!)? I love Chris March, but sweetie, when Tim Gunn tells you to do something, SNAP TO IT! DO IT! This is about winning a competition, not about you and your ego.
I watched a bit of the Bad Girls' Club, but I swear I didn't take in much of it. How many shots of Jennavecia peeing in the kitchen sink must I be forced to watch? How many more times will Tanishia pop off, son? How much bigger of a ho will Cordelia behave? How many more excuses for herself will Lyric make? I'll catch these tasteless, classless heifers in reruns.
I also learned that Celebrity Rehab has some unlikely fans -- MY PARENTS! They are especially touched by Jeff Conway, who smuggled cocaine into rehab in a wad of bills, then jumped in Daniel Baldwin's face when he confronted him. I tell ya, the world gets stranger and stranger...
So kids: do what you do best like Ricky. Except when your best is peeing in a sink.
Ricky on Project Runway finally hit his stride and created a fabulous, tailored dress that actually looked well made and well put together, like the lingerie designer he is supposed to be. Christian put together another tailored, goofy ensemble that the judges raved over, but he did not win. Can you tell I was heartbroken (NOT!)? I love Chris March, but sweetie, when Tim Gunn tells you to do something, SNAP TO IT! DO IT! This is about winning a competition, not about you and your ego.
I watched a bit of the Bad Girls' Club, but I swear I didn't take in much of it. How many shots of Jennavecia peeing in the kitchen sink must I be forced to watch? How many more times will Tanishia pop off, son? How much bigger of a ho will Cordelia behave? How many more excuses for herself will Lyric make? I'll catch these tasteless, classless heifers in reruns.
I also learned that Celebrity Rehab has some unlikely fans -- MY PARENTS! They are especially touched by Jeff Conway, who smuggled cocaine into rehab in a wad of bills, then jumped in Daniel Baldwin's face when he confronted him. I tell ya, the world gets stranger and stranger...
So kids: do what you do best like Ricky. Except when your best is peeing in a sink.
Wednesday, January 23, 2008
Politics: Versus vs. Running Mate
Right now, we have two powerhouse people in the running for Democratic leader, and they've been running a brilliant smear campaign against each other.
Their political views really aren't parallel. They would unify a party in need of some unification.
And yet... they dump mud on each other every chance they get.
You get the feeling that each of them wants to be the top dog, and that the dream team of Clinton-Obama (alphabetical order) is just not going to happen.
For VP, they'll pick a nice wimpy candidate who will stay in their shadow.
MISTAKE! Whatever momentum George W. Bush could not pick up on his own, Dick "I Target My Friends" Cheney picked up for him. Cheney is not the shy, retiring, quiet-dignity type.
When will the Democrats get a clue?
Their political views really aren't parallel. They would unify a party in need of some unification.
And yet... they dump mud on each other every chance they get.
You get the feeling that each of them wants to be the top dog, and that the dream team of Clinton-Obama (alphabetical order) is just not going to happen.
For VP, they'll pick a nice wimpy candidate who will stay in their shadow.
MISTAKE! Whatever momentum George W. Bush could not pick up on his own, Dick "I Target My Friends" Cheney picked up for him. Cheney is not the shy, retiring, quiet-dignity type.
When will the Democrats get a clue?
Tuesday, January 22, 2008
Ask Me Instead: When Advice Columnists Are Just Too Nice
My boyfriend and I have lived together for about 5 years. We have 2 children and we both work full-time. I am a good girlfriend, a good mother, and I love him - but he acts like I'm forcing him to be together! How should I deal with him? What should I say?
-Miserable
Dear Miserable,
I find that many women are afraid to confront their "miserable" mates because they are petrified of what they are going to hear. No one wants to hear that their partners want out. But the only way you are going to stop walking on eggshells is to make the decision to talk to your boyfriend tonight. Find out if he really has a problem with the relationship or perhaps himself. The usual path to misery comes from within - remember that and give yourself a break. I'm sure you are a great girlfriend and a fantastic mother. Don't forget it!
Okay, I was with the columnist until she said to find out what the problem really is. As has been stated, ad nauseum, many times before, men are simple, uncomplicated creatures. If he's acting like a jackass, and saying that he's being held hostage in the relationship, then he probably is. Let him go. Release him to whoever will take him. The Curbside Inn is always a lovely choice in any season. The "real problem" is that he's a passive-aggressive coward who doesn't want to break up with this woman because he probably feels guilt or obligation tying him down. So instead of doing the difficult but honorable thing by breaking up with her and smashing her heart into bits one good time, he's killing her inch by inch with indifference and in-her-face cruelty. If this is how he handles problems, then he's not good boyfriend material anyway. He needs to go. Now.
And Miserable, honey, don't ever in this lifetime cry over anything that isn't crying over you. That's what love should be about. I can also tell you, speaking from personal experience, that there's another woman someone in this trappedness. He will deny it and only say that he is speaking to a very good female friend, but you and I know better. Get a clue, and get a real man to raise your children with.Monday, January 21, 2008
Adventures in King Cake: Meche's Donuts
Before I start this post about the latest king cake, I feel the need to rant. I may lose friends over this, but it has to be said.
Meche's Donut King has produced a good solid doughnut for several years now in the Acadiana area. They taste good hot first thing in the morning, and they taste good late in the afternoon after they've been sitting out, long past when the coffee has gotten cold.
A few years ago, the KKK (Krispy Kreme Kompany) tried to move into this area and pass off the product they sell as a doughnut. I had eaten Krispy Kreme in the local stores and found their doughnuts to taste like brown paper with a sugar glaze. I heard that they had to be eaten hot to be properly appreciated. When they set up a store in Lafayette, I finally got that chance.
A hot Krispy Kreme doughnut tastes like a cotton ball with a sugar glaze on it. There, I said it.
Anyhow, there was really no reason for me to taste-test Meche's king cake other than my oldest son really, really loves it.
And who wouldn't? The fillings are yummy and pleasing on the tongue. Their fruit fillings are made with real fruit. The presentation of the glaze is totally Mardi Gras: bright colors with a little package of beads and the history of the king cake.
It's a doughnot, true, not a brioche, so it gets few points for authenticity. But they excel at making a "king cake" by adapting what they do best. At $15 for a small, it also feeds a lot of people.
Meche's Donut King has produced a good solid doughnut for several years now in the Acadiana area. They taste good hot first thing in the morning, and they taste good late in the afternoon after they've been sitting out, long past when the coffee has gotten cold.
A few years ago, the KKK (Krispy Kreme Kompany) tried to move into this area and pass off the product they sell as a doughnut. I had eaten Krispy Kreme in the local stores and found their doughnuts to taste like brown paper with a sugar glaze. I heard that they had to be eaten hot to be properly appreciated. When they set up a store in Lafayette, I finally got that chance.
A hot Krispy Kreme doughnut tastes like a cotton ball with a sugar glaze on it. There, I said it.
Anyhow, there was really no reason for me to taste-test Meche's king cake other than my oldest son really, really loves it.
And who wouldn't? The fillings are yummy and pleasing on the tongue. Their fruit fillings are made with real fruit. The presentation of the glaze is totally Mardi Gras: bright colors with a little package of beads and the history of the king cake.
It's a doughnot, true, not a brioche, so it gets few points for authenticity. But they excel at making a "king cake" by adapting what they do best. At $15 for a small, it also feeds a lot of people.
Adventures in King Cake: Wal-Mart
My latest venture into the world of king cake turned out to be a good one.
I picked the strawberry cream cheese mix from Wal-Mart and it turned out to be a good choice. Neither the filling nor the cake are overly sweet, and it has just enough glaze to sweeten it, not overpower it.
It came with a small package containing some Mardi Gras beads, the baby, and a small plastic crown. This was a good add to the presentation, which was a little bit lacking. While the colors of the yellow and green were bright and Mardi-Gras-y, the purple was too pale, a little pink, even. It gave the cake a faded look, like it was day-old.
At a little under $6, it was a good pick.
I picked the strawberry cream cheese mix from Wal-Mart and it turned out to be a good choice. Neither the filling nor the cake are overly sweet, and it has just enough glaze to sweeten it, not overpower it.
It came with a small package containing some Mardi Gras beads, the baby, and a small plastic crown. This was a good add to the presentation, which was a little bit lacking. While the colors of the yellow and green were bright and Mardi-Gras-y, the purple was too pale, a little pink, even. It gave the cake a faded look, like it was day-old.
At a little under $6, it was a good pick.
Thursday, January 17, 2008
Adventures in King Cake: Great Harvest Bread
Today I got back in the saddle of King Cakes again. A co-worker brought one in from Great Harvest Breads. I admit to being a little skeptical at first: a whole wheat king cake? Hmmmm....
Unlike my skepticism over Winn-Dixie's king cake, however, my skepticism this time around turned out to be unfounded. The cake itself gets no points for authenticity. It is unmistakably wheat bread. The whole wheat gives it a faint nutty flavor, and there is a light sprinkling of cinnamon and brown sugar throughout that enhances the natural flavors rather than overpowering them with sugar. It is beautifully decorated with interlaced swirls of purple, green, and gold glaze, with a cinnamon-brown-sugar-pecan crunch liberally sprinkled on top for good measure.
So while I can't promise you that there aren't any calories in this king cake, or that it is authentic, I will say that it is a tasty, more healthful alternative to some of the sugar-laden cakes floating around Lafayette. I would definitely give it two thumbs up.
Unlike my skepticism over Winn-Dixie's king cake, however, my skepticism this time around turned out to be unfounded. The cake itself gets no points for authenticity. It is unmistakably wheat bread. The whole wheat gives it a faint nutty flavor, and there is a light sprinkling of cinnamon and brown sugar throughout that enhances the natural flavors rather than overpowering them with sugar. It is beautifully decorated with interlaced swirls of purple, green, and gold glaze, with a cinnamon-brown-sugar-pecan crunch liberally sprinkled on top for good measure.
So while I can't promise you that there aren't any calories in this king cake, or that it is authentic, I will say that it is a tasty, more healthful alternative to some of the sugar-laden cakes floating around Lafayette. I would definitely give it two thumbs up.
Lesson in Reality TV
What did I learn this week in reality TV? I think a common theme was, "If you can't be a role model, you can at least be a horrible warning."
I watched that train wreck known as Celebrity Rehab, and I give Brigitte Nielsen the best chances for rehabilitation. She admitted her drinking, she admitted her faults, she is committed to her children, and the only drinking footage they were able to salvage was old since she has not drunk in a while.
Dr. Drew has his work cut out for him. Chynna Doll insists that she has no drug or drinking problems; she doesn't even know why she's there. She kicked her habits a long time ago (as they show her prancing around in her undies at midnight).
Daniel Baldwin has been to rehab many times. He knows the drill; he knows what to say; he knows what a rehabbed person is supposed to sound like, and you get the feeling that he's going to fake his way through rehab.
Mary Carey is a porn star who promised her mother that she would clean up her act (her mother committed suicide). She shows up drunk in a skirt up to here and her shirt unbuttoned to there. She's got a suitcase full of dildos and porn, which they confiscate. They tell her that she can wank; she just can't have any electrical stimulation.
Jamie Foxworth will probably be easy. Her drug of choice is weed, and she smokes a blunt every hour. Dr. Drew mentioned something about marijuana withdrawal syndrome, where apparently they turn into ravening beasts, but so far she seems very mellow. Maybe she's still stoned.
Shiffty gives off the air of just being incorrigible. He saunters in, not drunk, but freely admitting that he has a few Red Stripes in his backpack. He just seems like one of those people who, no matter how good they have it, will always do something to mess it up. He sabotages himself.
I must have been in the bathroom when they brough Ricco in. I don't remember him at all. Jessica Sierra is just a sad girl. She'll probably be easy.
Jeff Conway...? Poor Jeff. He had to be brought in the house in a wheelchair. They drove up with him drinking Dom Perignon. He and his girlfriend have this symbiotic Amy Winehouse vibe, where they are both addicted to the drugs and each other. He actually started crying when he found out that she was not going to be able to visit often. They later had to bring him to the hospital when he started having hallucinations. It was so not pretty. He is definitely the horrible warning.
On Project Runway, the horrible warning was someone whose clothes I actually liked: Kit. But her execution was cheap and sloppy. You're in the top eight, girlfriend! You can't afford to be cheap and sloppy.
And on the Bad Girls' club, the Hyena sisters try to set a good example by cleaning up, and by having a house meeting. However, Lyric, the flake who made off with someone's purse, just can't think about cleaning. She's got to think about her court date! And the rest of them are cool with all the flies buzzing around. So they strike back by being even nastier than you ever imagined: peeing in the kitchen sink, spitting in various items in the refrigerator, putting various food items in their underwear then putting it back in the fridge and pantry -- UGH! They call this striking back, but it's really more of showing their true colors: low and disgusting.
So we have learned that if you're going to do something, commit to it from jump. Don't hold on to bad habits. Put everything you have into what you're doing instead of settling for okay.
And for heaven's sake, bring your own butter and refuse anything that hasn't been cooked when you visit any of these girls.
I watched that train wreck known as Celebrity Rehab, and I give Brigitte Nielsen the best chances for rehabilitation. She admitted her drinking, she admitted her faults, she is committed to her children, and the only drinking footage they were able to salvage was old since she has not drunk in a while.
Dr. Drew has his work cut out for him. Chynna Doll insists that she has no drug or drinking problems; she doesn't even know why she's there. She kicked her habits a long time ago (as they show her prancing around in her undies at midnight).
Daniel Baldwin has been to rehab many times. He knows the drill; he knows what to say; he knows what a rehabbed person is supposed to sound like, and you get the feeling that he's going to fake his way through rehab.
Mary Carey is a porn star who promised her mother that she would clean up her act (her mother committed suicide). She shows up drunk in a skirt up to here and her shirt unbuttoned to there. She's got a suitcase full of dildos and porn, which they confiscate. They tell her that she can wank; she just can't have any electrical stimulation.
Jamie Foxworth will probably be easy. Her drug of choice is weed, and she smokes a blunt every hour. Dr. Drew mentioned something about marijuana withdrawal syndrome, where apparently they turn into ravening beasts, but so far she seems very mellow. Maybe she's still stoned.
Shiffty gives off the air of just being incorrigible. He saunters in, not drunk, but freely admitting that he has a few Red Stripes in his backpack. He just seems like one of those people who, no matter how good they have it, will always do something to mess it up. He sabotages himself.
I must have been in the bathroom when they brough Ricco in. I don't remember him at all. Jessica Sierra is just a sad girl. She'll probably be easy.
Jeff Conway...? Poor Jeff. He had to be brought in the house in a wheelchair. They drove up with him drinking Dom Perignon. He and his girlfriend have this symbiotic Amy Winehouse vibe, where they are both addicted to the drugs and each other. He actually started crying when he found out that she was not going to be able to visit often. They later had to bring him to the hospital when he started having hallucinations. It was so not pretty. He is definitely the horrible warning.
On Project Runway, the horrible warning was someone whose clothes I actually liked: Kit. But her execution was cheap and sloppy. You're in the top eight, girlfriend! You can't afford to be cheap and sloppy.
And on the Bad Girls' club, the Hyena sisters try to set a good example by cleaning up, and by having a house meeting. However, Lyric, the flake who made off with someone's purse, just can't think about cleaning. She's got to think about her court date! And the rest of them are cool with all the flies buzzing around. So they strike back by being even nastier than you ever imagined: peeing in the kitchen sink, spitting in various items in the refrigerator, putting various food items in their underwear then putting it back in the fridge and pantry -- UGH! They call this striking back, but it's really more of showing their true colors: low and disgusting.
So we have learned that if you're going to do something, commit to it from jump. Don't hold on to bad habits. Put everything you have into what you're doing instead of settling for okay.
And for heaven's sake, bring your own butter and refuse anything that hasn't been cooked when you visit any of these girls.
Wednesday, January 16, 2008
Yipi-ki-ay!
It's politics time, and people sure are raising a ruckus. It's certainly a shame that the Democratic party has so many strong candidates this year.
That's one thing that the Dems have usually lacked: strong candidates. And by strong, I don't mean intelligent, talented, popular or anything like that.
Strong in this instance means that they go the cowboy way. Usually the Dems have a lot of people who are strong on heart, but limp in the handshake.
This time around, both Hillary and Obama are cowboy material. They both have that can do, will do air about them. Maybe an Obama-Clinton ticket? That would be fun.
That's one thing that the Dems have usually lacked: strong candidates. And by strong, I don't mean intelligent, talented, popular or anything like that.
Strong in this instance means that they go the cowboy way. Usually the Dems have a lot of people who are strong on heart, but limp in the handshake.
This time around, both Hillary and Obama are cowboy material. They both have that can do, will do air about them. Maybe an Obama-Clinton ticket? That would be fun.
Tuesday, January 15, 2008
Ask Me Instead: Burning Passion
I was looking for bad advice that I could rewrite, and I didn't find any. That is to say, I procrastinated and probably could have found something if I had taken my task more seriously (mea culpa!).
However, in my search, I did find a collection of advice that one particular "agony uncle" was having problems answering. Most of the pleas for help left me stumped, but I did manage to find one that I have some small experience dealing with.
Dear M & S:
When I was younger and dumber, my sister and I rubbed jalapenos on our bare arms on a dare. Blisters quickly ensued, even with the immediate application of soap and water. As an adult, I rubbed capsaicin creme into my aching joints, then decided to soak in a tub for further relief. I spent the rest of the evening wrapped up in a sheet with aloe vera gel slapped all over my burning body. Capsaicin and moisture do not mix. The very thought of applying Tabasco to a perpetually moist environment makes my ovaries shrivel. The only thing that I can think of that would ease the burning (and this includes nostrils) would be a suicide pill. Step away from the pantry, please....
However, in my search, I did find a collection of advice that one particular "agony uncle" was having problems answering. Most of the pleas for help left me stumped, but I did manage to find one that I have some small experience dealing with.
My wife and I enjoy a vigorous BDSM lifestyle and take part in some pretty heavy activities. One we haven't tried but are anxious to is Tabasco sauce on mucous membranes, e.g., nostrils, clit, and anal tissues. Our question: What would we use to cool the burn should the application of Tabasco sauce to her anus or clit prove to be too much for her to endure?
Master & ServantDear M & S:
When I was younger and dumber, my sister and I rubbed jalapenos on our bare arms on a dare. Blisters quickly ensued, even with the immediate application of soap and water. As an adult, I rubbed capsaicin creme into my aching joints, then decided to soak in a tub for further relief. I spent the rest of the evening wrapped up in a sheet with aloe vera gel slapped all over my burning body. Capsaicin and moisture do not mix. The very thought of applying Tabasco to a perpetually moist environment makes my ovaries shrivel. The only thing that I can think of that would ease the burning (and this includes nostrils) would be a suicide pill. Step away from the pantry, please....
Adventures in King Cake: Winn-Dixie
This weekend, we tried the Winn-Dixie King Cake. I was a little skeptical, as it came in one of those clear, plastic containers that they usually reserve for day-old pastries.
As it turns out, I was right to be skeptical. Although it wasn't as sweet as the Albertson's cake, which was the only thing I liked about it, it was also dry. Dry does not complement lack of sweetness. In fact, it was rather off-putting and I could not finish it.
Even though the Albertson's cake had just a tad too much of frosting and sugar, I found that the W-D cake swung too far in the opposite direction. The frosting and sugar were little more than a delicate drizzle over the top, which was neither attractive, nor added too much in the way of flavor.
At $8, it's not a bad cake, but I'd make the drive to Albertson's ANYDAY. The difference in price will pay for the extra gas.
As it turns out, I was right to be skeptical. Although it wasn't as sweet as the Albertson's cake, which was the only thing I liked about it, it was also dry. Dry does not complement lack of sweetness. In fact, it was rather off-putting and I could not finish it.
Even though the Albertson's cake had just a tad too much of frosting and sugar, I found that the W-D cake swung too far in the opposite direction. The frosting and sugar were little more than a delicate drizzle over the top, which was neither attractive, nor added too much in the way of flavor.
At $8, it's not a bad cake, but I'd make the drive to Albertson's ANYDAY. The difference in price will pay for the extra gas.
Sunday, January 13, 2008
The Letter and the Spirit
Most of the time, Jesus is portrayed in the Bible as being someone who moves where the Spirit takes him. He and his merry band of apostles travel around, doing good works, preaching to the crowds, and ticking off the elders.
This week, however, features him being baptized. He's doing something that actually follows the letter of the law.
Which presents a paradox for John the Baptist. In the military, unlike in movies about the military, you only salute someone of higher rank than yourself. John, who doesn't seem to recognize anyone as being greater than anyone else on the planet, has issues with performing a baptism on the Big Kahuna. How could he possibly...?
But Jesus assures him that this is all a part of The Plan. And it is.
The whole mystery of Jesus is that he was both God and man. As God, he's allowed to move where the Spirit directs him. As man, he still has to follow God's laws.
And if he, who is God, is not above following God's laws, then who are we to refuse to do the same?
The best way to lead is by example. There are some people who want others to do as they say, but they don't want to actually do it themselves. There are others who don't mind walking the walk, but they don't want to provide any direction.
The key is not to talk the talk, or walk the walk, but to walk the talk.
This week, however, features him being baptized. He's doing something that actually follows the letter of the law.
Which presents a paradox for John the Baptist. In the military, unlike in movies about the military, you only salute someone of higher rank than yourself. John, who doesn't seem to recognize anyone as being greater than anyone else on the planet, has issues with performing a baptism on the Big Kahuna. How could he possibly...?
But Jesus assures him that this is all a part of The Plan. And it is.
The whole mystery of Jesus is that he was both God and man. As God, he's allowed to move where the Spirit directs him. As man, he still has to follow God's laws.
And if he, who is God, is not above following God's laws, then who are we to refuse to do the same?
The best way to lead is by example. There are some people who want others to do as they say, but they don't want to actually do it themselves. There are others who don't mind walking the walk, but they don't want to provide any direction.
The key is not to talk the talk, or walk the walk, but to walk the talk.
Saturday, January 12, 2008
MOVIE REVIEW: Live Free or Die Hard
Some people don't know how to do a sequel. Men in Black II stank. Spiderman III dragged and stank.
Whoever is in charge of the Die Hard series knows how to make a sequel.
There are the usual too-good-to-be-true stunts. There is Bruce Willis, who starts the movie off looking healthy and ends up looking like hell. There is the intelligent, psychopathic mastermind as his nemesis. There is the fish-out-of-water sidekick who ends up being an unlikely hero. Those are standard and what you expect to see in a Die Hard movie.
But now the franchise has gone high-tech. The spies and international intrigue have given way to a local boy with a grudge and an ax to grind. The sidekick is a lanky fellow who looks like he'd be more comfortable fighting over Star Trek memorabilia than bad guys. It's enough of a departure to make the series interesting.
All in all, I really liked this movie. If you like chills and thrills, I expect that you will enjoy it, too.
Whoever is in charge of the Die Hard series knows how to make a sequel.
There are the usual too-good-to-be-true stunts. There is Bruce Willis, who starts the movie off looking healthy and ends up looking like hell. There is the intelligent, psychopathic mastermind as his nemesis. There is the fish-out-of-water sidekick who ends up being an unlikely hero. Those are standard and what you expect to see in a Die Hard movie.
But now the franchise has gone high-tech. The spies and international intrigue have given way to a local boy with a grudge and an ax to grind. The sidekick is a lanky fellow who looks like he'd be more comfortable fighting over Star Trek memorabilia than bad guys. It's enough of a departure to make the series interesting.
All in all, I really liked this movie. If you like chills and thrills, I expect that you will enjoy it, too.
Thursday, January 10, 2008
Mardi Gras: King Cake Review: Albertson's
I have decided that this year we are going to eat our way through Ad-Lent: my name for the time between now and Ash Wednesday. And what better thing to eat than King Cake?
I started off this season with a grocery-chain king cake: Strawberry Cream Cheese from Albertson's. This one was a definite hit and is almost gone in less than two days.
The cake itself is like a cinnamon roll. It has then been stuffed with both a strawberry filling and a cream cheese filling. Some parts of the king cake have only one filling or the other, and some parts have a mixture of the two. My youngest son gives thumbs up to both fillings.
Albertson's cake has been glazed with a thick, white concoction. The top is decorated with colored granulated sugar in the traditional Mardi Gras colors: purple, gold, and green. They include a small plastic baby for you to insert.
It might not win any awards for authenticity; technically, a king cake is supposed to be more closely related to a brioche. But for $5, it's a pretty darned good imitation and the presentation is fabulous.
I started off this season with a grocery-chain king cake: Strawberry Cream Cheese from Albertson's. This one was a definite hit and is almost gone in less than two days.
The cake itself is like a cinnamon roll. It has then been stuffed with both a strawberry filling and a cream cheese filling. Some parts of the king cake have only one filling or the other, and some parts have a mixture of the two. My youngest son gives thumbs up to both fillings.
Albertson's cake has been glazed with a thick, white concoction. The top is decorated with colored granulated sugar in the traditional Mardi Gras colors: purple, gold, and green. They include a small plastic baby for you to insert.
It might not win any awards for authenticity; technically, a king cake is supposed to be more closely related to a brioche. But for $5, it's a pretty darned good imitation and the presentation is fabulous.
Jennavecia the Pimp
What lesson did I learn this week in reality TV?
I believe a common theme to all was that it's not always all about you. And if it is, it really shouldn't be that way sometimes.
Miss New York got a big surprise when her mother was on stage swapping spit with one of the contestants from I Love New York 2. I didn't think he was all that cute, but Sister Patterson has apparently scooped him up like butter. New York looked surprised for about a hot minute before running offstage, then running back on again. It should have come as no surprise to anyone that Sister Patterson was a cougar. And trust me, I could watch Sister Patterson and Champion much easier than I could watch New York (or anybody, for that matter) with Flavor Flav. Yuck!
On the Bad Girls' Club, Jennavecia the Pimp brings home another boy for Cordelia to drool over, only this time she takes this one home. As Cordelia says, "I know I'm engaged, but if a hot guy or girl pays attention to me, I can't help but flirt back." Gee, where have I heard that one before? They must write it up in the Ho Handbook and pass it out on the stroll. Anyhow, considering her status and the huge fight that she got into with Tanishia this morning over her skankitude, you would think that blatantly cheating on her fiance would be the last thing Cordelia would want to do, especially on national television. But Cordelia is apparently lacking in any kind of sense, and a fight between her and the Hyena Sisters ensues. After her date has been scared away, she picks yet another fight. And whom does she call for tea and sympathy once the fight is over? Her fiance! Although by the sound of things, he's getting sick of her and her it's-all-about-me attitude. It's a good thing she found this show because at least we'll know who she is when they find her body in a gutter somewhere. This girl has some serious issues and makes some horribly bad choices.
Last night's Project Runway was mostly a success. Our boy Christian did a credible job of making a decent dress with an obnoxious model. I loved Kevin, but he had to go. That dress was terrible, and even though it was a halter, she did look ma-ma-ish in it. His hem not only looked bad, but it was too short. He should have paid attention to the fact that his client was 17. I didn't think Sweet P's dress was all that; there was something about the fit at the waist that didn't feel right. My favorite, hands down, was Chris' dress. It was badass. The combination of the fabric and the color made it look sleek, stylish, and sexy. I did not like Victorya's dress. It was too short on such a long girl, and those multicolored beads glued on top would have been better served by plain rhinestones as an accent, or in a small pattern. (Listen to me! I sound like I know what I am talking about).
Lessons learned, chickadees?
1. There is room for one more diva at VH-1. What's next, I Love Sister Patterson?
2. Some people will do anything for attention, even if it is negative attention.
3. There is no room in a competition for both you and your ego. Somebody's gonna have to swallow hard and get in the back seat.
I believe a common theme to all was that it's not always all about you. And if it is, it really shouldn't be that way sometimes.
Miss New York got a big surprise when her mother was on stage swapping spit with one of the contestants from I Love New York 2. I didn't think he was all that cute, but Sister Patterson has apparently scooped him up like butter. New York looked surprised for about a hot minute before running offstage, then running back on again. It should have come as no surprise to anyone that Sister Patterson was a cougar. And trust me, I could watch Sister Patterson and Champion much easier than I could watch New York (or anybody, for that matter) with Flavor Flav. Yuck!
On the Bad Girls' Club, Jennavecia the Pimp brings home another boy for Cordelia to drool over, only this time she takes this one home. As Cordelia says, "I know I'm engaged, but if a hot guy or girl pays attention to me, I can't help but flirt back." Gee, where have I heard that one before? They must write it up in the Ho Handbook and pass it out on the stroll. Anyhow, considering her status and the huge fight that she got into with Tanishia this morning over her skankitude, you would think that blatantly cheating on her fiance would be the last thing Cordelia would want to do, especially on national television. But Cordelia is apparently lacking in any kind of sense, and a fight between her and the Hyena Sisters ensues. After her date has been scared away, she picks yet another fight. And whom does she call for tea and sympathy once the fight is over? Her fiance! Although by the sound of things, he's getting sick of her and her it's-all-about-me attitude. It's a good thing she found this show because at least we'll know who she is when they find her body in a gutter somewhere. This girl has some serious issues and makes some horribly bad choices.
Last night's Project Runway was mostly a success. Our boy Christian did a credible job of making a decent dress with an obnoxious model. I loved Kevin, but he had to go. That dress was terrible, and even though it was a halter, she did look ma-ma-ish in it. His hem not only looked bad, but it was too short. He should have paid attention to the fact that his client was 17. I didn't think Sweet P's dress was all that; there was something about the fit at the waist that didn't feel right. My favorite, hands down, was Chris' dress. It was badass. The combination of the fabric and the color made it look sleek, stylish, and sexy. I did not like Victorya's dress. It was too short on such a long girl, and those multicolored beads glued on top would have been better served by plain rhinestones as an accent, or in a small pattern. (Listen to me! I sound like I know what I am talking about).
Lessons learned, chickadees?
1. There is room for one more diva at VH-1. What's next, I Love Sister Patterson?
2. Some people will do anything for attention, even if it is negative attention.
3. There is no room in a competition for both you and your ego. Somebody's gonna have to swallow hard and get in the back seat.
Wednesday, January 9, 2008
Gotta Get Over the Hump
I've been thinking about a format for my blogs and don't quite know what to do with Wednesday. Monday is a natural day for well, I was thinking wrapping up the weekend, but now I am not so sure. I'm trying to make this particular blog more about practicing my writing and less personal.
Maybe I could review things on Monday. That sounds good.
On Tuesday, I plan to troll the advice columns looking for poor souls who have been given awful advice by distant columnists and tell them what they should have been told.
Thursdays, definitely Reality TV rewind. I am a reality TV junkie, and I watch it all, from trashy to trendy.
Fridays could be about stuff around town. Which means that I will actually have to do stuff around town. Maybe I will start at Cafe Wingery, since my doppelganger supposedly works there.
Saturdays I could take off. I need a day off. Sunday I will probably punt with my usual religious re-interpretations of the readings.
Wednesday -- feh. I'll have to think on it. It could be a good day for random musings and/or politics.
Politics are good. I am really not a political creature, but I am a socialist in the broad sense of the word. I know people whose views on things range from "why do we care if women in 3rd world countries are educated?" to "Yay for the 40% quota to hire women in Norway." Talk about your extremes. Myself with my flaming moderate heart, I am usually annoyed by both ends of the spectrum.
So now that I have pondered over my lack of things to discuss on Wednesdays, I had better get moving. This post is getting kind of long.
Maybe I could review things on Monday. That sounds good.
On Tuesday, I plan to troll the advice columns looking for poor souls who have been given awful advice by distant columnists and tell them what they should have been told.
Thursdays, definitely Reality TV rewind. I am a reality TV junkie, and I watch it all, from trashy to trendy.
Fridays could be about stuff around town. Which means that I will actually have to do stuff around town. Maybe I will start at Cafe Wingery, since my doppelganger supposedly works there.
Saturdays I could take off. I need a day off. Sunday I will probably punt with my usual religious re-interpretations of the readings.
Wednesday -- feh. I'll have to think on it. It could be a good day for random musings and/or politics.
Politics are good. I am really not a political creature, but I am a socialist in the broad sense of the word. I know people whose views on things range from "why do we care if women in 3rd world countries are educated?" to "Yay for the 40% quota to hire women in Norway." Talk about your extremes. Myself with my flaming moderate heart, I am usually annoyed by both ends of the spectrum.
So now that I have pondered over my lack of things to discuss on Wednesdays, I had better get moving. This post is getting kind of long.
Tuesday, January 8, 2008
Guitar Heroine
I have to admit it: I am in love with Guitar Hero II.
Okay, so my character is a little ultracool. Pandora, the poser from some Midwestern state, is a little too sturm und drung.
BUT I just bought her feathers outfit, and man, it is a totally different look for us! I mean, her. I love it!
I've also moving through my Mediums, trying to get at least 4 Stars for every song before I move on to Furious Fretwork. It really hasn't been that difficult.
My biggest problem, as usual, is my confidence level. I feel like I'm doing awful, then I look at my stats and it's not so bad. Or I look at a series and think, "I will never, ever be able to play that," even as my fingers are flying over the frets.
And now when I listen to the radio, I separate the guitarwork from the song. I've listened to many a song on the radio and thought to myself, "A-ha! They stole that from Shout at the Devil!" It could very well be the other way around.
Yep... on a lonely night... when there's nothing to do and I'm too lazy to exercise... Pandora can front my band Jezebel and we can Search and Destroy with The Stooges... F@&^% Yeah....
Okay, so my character is a little ultracool. Pandora, the poser from some Midwestern state, is a little too sturm und drung.
BUT I just bought her feathers outfit, and man, it is a totally different look for us! I mean, her. I love it!
I've also moving through my Mediums, trying to get at least 4 Stars for every song before I move on to Furious Fretwork. It really hasn't been that difficult.
My biggest problem, as usual, is my confidence level. I feel like I'm doing awful, then I look at my stats and it's not so bad. Or I look at a series and think, "I will never, ever be able to play that," even as my fingers are flying over the frets.
And now when I listen to the radio, I separate the guitarwork from the song. I've listened to many a song on the radio and thought to myself, "A-ha! They stole that from Shout at the Devil!" It could very well be the other way around.
Yep... on a lonely night... when there's nothing to do and I'm too lazy to exercise... Pandora can front my band Jezebel and we can Search and Destroy with The Stooges... F@&^% Yeah....
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