TV REVIEW: Real Chance at Love Episode 4

This episode opens up with Kiki continuing to show her mean, evil side. She gets on both KO and Lusty about their mothers being bitches. Well, both their mothers are dead, so it kind of seems like a moot point, but at any rate, they both want to punch her lights out. Everybody is pretty much embarrassed for them, having to suck it up and not being able to throw down, but nobody wants to fuel the fire. Both Lusty and Milf talk to Real about Kiki's behavior, and he agrees to think about it.

Chance steals off to talk to his brother Mike, who tells him that Cali is an industry ho, that she makes all the rounds at the parties. Some of the girls hear him and Real discussing it, and they clue her in. With the exception of Kiki, these girls all get along surprisingly well.

Then the girls get mail. They think they're going to meet the family (have they ever seen this show??? that's not going to happen for at least 3 more episodes), so they get all tarted up. Makeup, stilettos, the whole bit. When they find out that they're going to muck out the stables and take care of the animals, they are less than amused.

We, however, are sure as heck amused because some of these girls never learned about animals of any sort. Meatball doesn't even know a sheep from a llama. Lusty seems to be trying to put the animals in a trance. In the end, they've got to show for their team. But it's the mismatched team of Kiki and Bubbles who ends up winning the dates.

Chance and Real are cooking for the women on the dates, but it's obvious that they can't even barbecue. I didn't even know there was a man on the planet who could throw some raw meat on the fire and not come up with something edible. So they end up eating fruits and marshmallows on their dates.

Real takes Kiki aside and tells her she has to apologize. She's not feeling it, but she's crafty enough to know that she has to apologize, so she ponies up the most insincere apology imaginable and she and Lusty then exchange a fake hug.

KO decides to come out and tell Real that she's really disappointed that she wasn't picked for the date, which I don't see why she and her team didn't win. KO would be a natural on the farm. She then becomes the third person to warn Real about Kiki, but all he says is that he needs a calm, cool, and collected woman. Yeah. Like Kiki fits that bill. KO's body language says, "You ain't hearing me, so step off." There are some serious "I ain't playing" vibes coming off of her.

Rabbit reveals to Chance that she hasn't had a boyfriend in two years and she's looking for The One. Again, has she ever seen this franchise??? The worst thing you can do is act like you're looking for Mr. Right instead of Mr. Right Now. Cali also wants to explain to Chance that yeah, she knows people in the industry, and she'll continue to be in the industry, but she's not just any industry ho; she's a makeup industry ho! She's got a real job.

In the meantime, Lusty, who has more than a few screws loose, decides she needs some alone time with Real and tries to sneak him away for a massage. Then she makes her fatal error and discusses her last boyfriend, who got married to someone else and didn't tell her. When Real asks her what she did when she found out, instead of saying something like, "I cried for a while, then I put it behind me," she says, "What do you think I did, kill him?" Whoa. Killing should be nowhere in your mind when you've got a half-naked man under your palms. Real looks like he just wants to bolt from the couch.

After all is said and done, Chance keeps all of his women, and Real ends up sending Kiki home because she's mean and evil.

PSYCH! Both of these guys were in luv with New York; did you really think they were going to toss a woman aside just because she was mean and evil? Please! Real ends up getting rid of Lusty because he's afraid she's going to Bobbettize him. To be honest, I don't blame him. As Lusty is leaving, Milf yells out, "You're a good woman, Lusty." And Lusty says that if he wants a mean girl like Kiki, so be it.

Real then tells Kiki that he's keeping her because she's showing him she can change. Uh-huh. Right up until the next episode.

Chance keeps:
Bubbles
Cali
Risky
Meatball
Rabbit

Real keeps:
Milf
KO
Cornfed
Bay bay bay
Kiki

Stay tuned for next week, when the audience learns that white women from Fargo can't dance....