ASK ME INSTEAD: Why can't my husband's family forgive me?

When I found out about my husbands 7 year affair,he and I both did and said bad things to each other.
When he wouldnt leave I told him I would shoot him..(Ive never shot a gun in my life)
When I caught him with her again I took 9K in cash advances off our credit cards and put it in a safe deposit box.Ended up using it ,with his knowledge to pay bills during our seperation.
When his sister told me she had helped him keep the affair a secret for 7 years all i said was "why"
when his 2 sisters and BIL came to court on her( OW) ppo agaisnt me all I said was "you should be ashamed"
when his neice had her(OW) to dinner with the family I said"how do you teach morals and 10 commanments to your children"we are still married.
His mother told me 2 weeks after I found out that she knew I wasnt that stupid so i must have known,and 6 months later,when I asked for help with a nursing home for my dying mother she treated me like a dog and hung up.
This is the only contact we had .
My husband came home 5 weeks ago and told me Im not allowed at his familys functions as they need to heal and forgive me.
He will be leaving me,our 3 year old g.granddaughter and my dying mother home as he celebrates Thanksgiving and Christmas with his family.
Says he will cut it short so we can do "something" too.
Am i wrong to feel betrayed again?
I realize when families get involved its not easy,but if he can "forgive" me,why couldnt they?
And how can I ever forgive them for what they did then and what they are doing now.
Is there something I am not realizing in all this?

Sincerely, Barely Breathing

Dearest Barely,

Not only are you barely breathing, you are barely thinking. That husband of yours is a symbol of the toxicity in his family. This woman has a PPO against you -- and your husband is not only keeping contact with her, but wants credit for doing this AND refuses to support you anymore! He's a louse of a parent who is going to leave his daughter behind on the holidays so he can go run with the people who supported his infidelities for 7 years! Do you have any doubt that OW will be there sitting front and center and that's why you aren't invited? Grow a pair, and kick this asshole AND his family to the curb! You will feel much better for it.